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#12818352 Oct 30, 2016 at 04:52 PM · Edited over 1 year ago
Fucking God
37 Posts
Professions Grofessions

Space Wizard:
Space Wizards specialize in the magic of space and bullshit. They make portals and spew stuns and dazes out of every orifice. They are impossible to hit, and as if that weren't enough, those smug motherfuckers can't get enough of themselves, so they make a bunch of copies just to admire themselves while they ruin your day.

Digivolution: Clock Wizard
Space Wizards may digivolve into Clock Wizards to allow them to bullshit you not just for all the time that exists, but also the time that doesn't exist. They'll even rewind time so they can bullshit you twice at once.

Spooky Mage
Spooky mages specialize in spooky magics by creating swarms of little monsters that match pugs in size and ugliness. They rely on their teammates dying lots to power themselves up and they'll turn your happy face buffs into sad face buffs just for fun.

Digivolution: Spooky Farmer
Spooky farmers have poor vision, and as such, often confuse monsters and creatures with crops to harvest. You can often find them spinning around trying to collect wheat, when all they're getting is just the pain and suffering of others.

Fireworks Guys
Fireworks guys specialize in doing what fireworks do: big flashy bangy stuff for a really short duration and then they die. They cause burns if you aim them at your face, but are also really confused about who they are inside, so they might also make you cold or stick a fork in a socket or just throw dirt in your face.

Digivolution: Fireworks Ghandi
Upon achieving proper Ghandification, these guys can start firing off entire arrays of fireworks, and then meditate on the destruction they've caused and the homes they've destroyed while riding a fucking rock or bubble or something, what even is that?

Walking Lifeforce
Walking lifeforce characters will circle an enemy for days on end before waiting to strike, all the while their team is wailing away on their foe. When the time comes to strike, a dose of walking life force will instantly teleport, while invisible, straight into the middle of the enemy's biggest attack, fulfilling their destiny, and providing their allied spooky mages with the life force necessary to continue to the fight.

Digivolution: Walking Lifeforce, with a stick
Same thing, except now they've picked up one of those magical staves capable of raining fire from the sky and put it to use the one way they know how: slapping it against things.
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